Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Good News for Doomsday Believers

As you may remember from one of my previous blog posts, “The Sky Is Falling!”, the earth as we know it will supposedly be coming to an end on May 21.  “But what about their pets?” you say.  Fear not!  I have good news for the Doomsday believers.  According to this article, a group of atheists can “provide a loving home” for your pets for a reasonable fee.  So, if you have a dog, cat, bird, rabbit, small caged mammal, horse, camel, llama or donkey you are in luck. “Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA” will bring your pet into their home and care for them for the rest of the pet’s life.  Unfortunately, it appears that iguanas and alpacas are not on the list.  The iguana exclusion is because they haven’t found anyone willing to take one on.  However, I do not understand why alpacas are not on the list, but llamas and camels are.  I mean, don’t they all spit, carry baggage and provide wool (some)?  And if you have a ferret, monkey or wallaby, we’ll just question your sanity anyway. ;-)

As with many articles, the comments were quite funny.  My favorite:
My Ex was a dog.  Will they take him?

May 21 is coming soon, folks!  Better start making arrangements!  Since you won’t need money in heaven, you can donate it to me.  I will even take care of your plants.


  1. Doomsday posts are becoming pretty trendy, are they not? I even did one (http://bit.ly/m2WenB)

    I'm tempted to write an open letter to the rature-heads in my local town, as there are a lot:

    Dear the-soon-to-be-raptured,

    As of Saturday, you will be leaving the Earth and going to heaven, signaling the start of end times. Help me fight the good fight, by donating your car, home or cash to my fund. Don't worry, I won't collect until May 22nd (you'll be gone by then) but I will need you to fill out the necessary papers before you leave.

    I can be reached at xxxxxxx.

    Sincerely, blah blah blah.

    ... think it'll work?

  2. If the earth is supposedly "ending", how will the atheists technically be here to take care of the pets? I figure if the world ends, than everything kinda goes "poof". But hey, what do I know? lol

    And I like Lost.In.Idaho's idea. lol

  3. Wait, I'm confused. Isn't the world supposed to end in 2012? (As you can tell, I don't pay attention to this shit). lol

  4. Where should I send the check?

  5. hahahaha people keep predicting when rapture would take place. Everyone shld jst chill cos not even te pope knows when it's gonna happen.
    Plus may 21st is my mum's birthday, no way is rapture gonna take place before i get a piece of cake :p

  6. I have fake plants. Will you dust them for me?

  7. I'm with you on the money-sitting. I'm also willing to watch over exquisite jewels, rare family heirlooms and hot, young atheistic studs.

  8. good lord, I've only got two days left and I still have to transplant my strawberries!

  9. lol yes I'm confused too, htought we had another year up our sleeves.

  10. Ha ha ha! Awesome comments! All I know is that at 6pm, I want to have a drink in my hand. At 6:01, I will toast those of us who did not make it onto the Rapture Train. Cheers!

  11. Believe it or not, I think this post was the first place I heard about any of the current doomsday nonsense. We don't have cable and hence, no Television in the house.

    I can't believe I didn't comment, but I think that may have been because I went directly to the news reports via the internet to find out what was up, pausing only long enough to hit the follow button.

    What amazes me is that here you have the atheist folks saying "Hey, we think you are full of shit AND dumber than a box of rocks ... and we'll let you prove it. If you give me x amount of dollars, I'll take care of your furry friends if you happen to be right." And you just KNOW that some of those people forked over the cash. Infinity x stupid ... it boggles the mind.

  12. Hahaha well I guess we're all in trouble because I am not aware of anyone being raptured. I haven't even googled the nutjob that said it was going to happen on May 21st to see what his explanation was.

  13. I'm sure Mr. Doomsday has some excuse - not praying hard enough, not converting enough people, etc. Whatever it is, I bet it will involve people giving him more money! Dim dims....


I love comments - bring 'em on!