Monday, December 27, 2010

The Hell That is Moving

Today I was reading on someone’s blog about how her parents helped her move out of the house.  It reminded me of one of my moves, except that my parents weren’t that helpful.  Many years ago, I bought a house.  At that point in time, Mom and Dad liked to “help”.  It was their way of feeling somehow involved in my life.  Dad’s helping consisted of actual helpful things, like bringing his truck and letting us use it.  Mom, on the other hand, pretty much just always got in the way while insisting on doing things her way.  

As I’ve gotten older (and because of a variety of issues), I have come to look at my parents more as adults rather than as my parents.  In most cases now, I am the parent and they are the children.  Some may see it as a bit sad, but it is highly practical and has helped me preserve my sanity while maintaining a tolerable relationship with them.  

When I moved from my rented house into my new house, I used the knowledge of my parents' behavior to my advantage.  Anticipating that Mom would want to do things her way, I devised a plan:  distraction.  She does this with my friends' kids, why not use it on her?  Everything was packed so that she couldn’t pack things in the "creative" way she tends to do.  When she wanted to carry things outside, I made sure they were unbreakable things like pillows (she drops things and trips a lot).  When we got to the new house, I put her to work in the kitchen.  She had this bee in her bonnet about giving me shelf paper.  I do not like shelf paper, especially the sticky kind with grandma patterns on them.  She found some paper that was plain and not sticky, so I pretended that it was a great thing, but, “Oh, I don’t know when I will have time to do it.  I sure wish I could get it on the shelves before I moved everything in….” etc.  You know where this is leading.  Mom insisted on putting in all the shelf paper.  This killed many birds with one stone:  she was “helping”, she was busy (i.e. out of my hair), and got to do things her way.  Plus, shelf paper is not breakable.   

Oh, and I hid the crystal.

Friday, December 24, 2010

I Did Something Dumb

I'm going to start off with something dumb I did yesterday.  After all, if you can't make fun of yourself, you shouldn't make fun of anyone else - and I like poking fun at others.

This year we succumbed to peer pressure and put up some holiday lights outside.  First, we got a programmable outlet-type thing that we programmed to go on at dusk (it has a light sensor) and stay lit for eight hours or so.  Then, we put some lights on shrubs, trees, etc.  I thought it looked so nice, why not add some more?  To get to our front door, you have to go up a short flight of stairs.  Since well-lit stairs are a good thing, I added some lights to both sides of them.

Dusk arrived.  The lights went on!  And off.  And on.  And off.  They were doing an annoying, slow blink.  All of them (including the trees and shrubs) at once.  Those new lights I wove in and out of the stair railing must be the problem.  After digging in a box, I found some more.  I plugged them in and let them sit for awhile.  They did not flash, hurray!  I took them outside and plugged them in where the left-side-of-the-stair lights were plugged in.  After sitting for awhile, they did not blink.  Cool!  I can just replace the original left-of-stair lights with a new strand and all will be good.  So, I unwove the original left strand and wove in the new left strand and plugged it in again.

Dusk arrived.  The lights went on!  And off.  And on.  And off.  Crap!  It must be the right-of-the-stair lights that are causing the problem.  Sick of weaving and unweaving the awkward icicle lights through the stair railings, I just unplugged the right-of-stair lights.  The lights went on!  And off.  And on.  And off.  goddammit!  And then I realized....

Our programmable outlet-type thing is near the stairs.  When it is dusk, the lights turn on.  However, when the lights on the stairs went on, it was bright enough that the sensor thought it wasn't dusk, so the lights turned off.  Once the lights were off, the sensor realized it was dusk and turned the lights back on.  And so started the endless cycle of on, off, on, off....

Needless to say, there will not be any holiday lights on our stairs.

Thursday, December 23, 2010


Hello, world!  Since my blog is brand-spankin'-new at this point, I guess that means I'm talking to myself.  That's okay, it's nothing new.  I started this blog because I needed an outlet to ramble, rant, rave, and ask, "Why?".  While I love my family blog, it's not really the place to post the types of things I'll be posting here. 

I will be posting about a wide variety of topics that pique my interest.  The topics could be anything from current news to pet peeves to annoying relatives.  Some of the posts will be controversial.  While I don't expect everyone to agree with (or even understand) me, I do welcome your comments.  Part of your life's education is keeping an open mind and learning about other people's opinions.  Just because someone else's opinion (or lifestyle) is different does not make it wrong.  It also does not make that person "lesser" than you, nor does it make you superior to them in any way.  Just sayin'.