Part 1: The Adventure Begins
Written during one of the morning flights
Friday night started innocently enough (don’t they all?). “Hey Willy”, I said to my friend, “Do you know anyone who lives in Podunk?” “Uh, no. Why?” said Willy. “Well, I’m interested in a Cute Sportscar there and was hoping someone local would go look at it for me.” As so often happens, one thing led to another. Next thing you know, it’s early Saturday morning, and I’m on a plane.
At first, I was dreading this flight, as I had seen an overabundance of babies boarding the plane. This must have been my lucky day, as I haven’t heard a peep out of them yet. Sitting on the tarmac, I couldn’t help but notice the distinct smell of, well, lavatory deposits. Fortunately, the smell dissipated. Otherwise, the airline probably wouldn’t have been able to sell any of their overpriced snack boxes. It’s not like you’re going to feel like eating when you’re about to gag. Luck was with me again in the form of seats (cushy) and seatmates (small). However, the young mother sitting next to me started her day off with a vodka drink. It wasn’t even 6:00 a.m.! Yuck. Fortunately, the rest of the flight was uneventful.
Part 2: The Stealership
Upon our arrival at the stealership, I felt like Willy and I were pieces of not-quite-dead roadkill being watched by starving buzzards. “It’s like flies attracted to shit”, I told Willy. “They just can’t help themselves, even though they know it’s wrong. But they’re really hungry.” We fended off a couple of flies, and were fortunate to find the car right away.
It wasn’t as we had hoped. The poor thing, although low in miles, was long in the tooth. The previous owner apparently could have cared less about a once-beautiful car. The body was covered with scratches, many of them deep. These were not run-of-the-mill, average wear-and-tear scratches. These were scratches that had no hope of ever being buffed out. Then we opened the door. Unbelievably, the interior was worse than the exterior. The driver’s door panel was horribly scratched and chewed up. This suggested to me that the previous owner had a dog that rode in their lap – a dog with teeth and long claws. This was a car that I would not be proud to be seen in. Back to the airport I went.
Part 3: The Journey Home
Written on the plane
Expecting to be driving a new car home, my airline ticket was one-way. Now my task was to find a way home without breaking the bank. Not having a super-duper internet-accessing type of cell phone, my feet were my next best option. Airline #1 could get me home for ~$300.00, with one layover. Airline #2 did not fly to my town, even with a layover. Airline #3 could do it with one layover, but only had first class available. Airline #4 flew directly to a city near my town for ~$300.00. Ding ding! We have a winner! I figured it was better to get marginally reamed in airfare than to buy a car that I would not be happy with. As I write this, I am on the plane, headed home.
Here are some photos I took from the plane. Views like this make the earth seem almost alien.
Hope you all had a more relaxing Saturday than I did!