Monday, January 3, 2011

The Sky is Falling!

In the news today was a feature on yet another doomsday cult.  They don’t call themselves that, of course.  This group is convinced by their reading of the Bible that the end of the world will begin May 21, 2011, and that they are commanded by God to warn people about it.  It is interesting how people manipulate (and pick and choose sections of) the Bible and other religious texts to further their agendas.  Seems a tad hypocritical to follow some of a text, but not all of it.  This is not exclusive to Christians.

Although I did not look into it, I would venture to guess that these people have been convinced to pool their assets to help deliver “the message”.  It also wouldn’t surprise me if they asked for donations to fund their pet project.  These fine folks have also sent mission groups outside of the U.S. to spread the news.  So let me get this straight:  God only spoke only to people living in the U.S. and made them travel?  You would think He would be a little more efficient than that.  Are only English speakers worthy to be warned of this horrible event?   I wonder what God will command them to do on May 22?  That may be the day that this false prophet, well, profits!

Doomsday cults are nothing new.  So what is so special about this particular one?  Nothing.  However, the article I read had a “comments” section.  Some of the comments were pretty funny:

“Would they be willing to sign a post dated contract giving me possession of their property and bank accounts on May 23rd?”

“Well, that's just great. The world is going to end before the next Harry Potter movie comes out and before the second season of The Walking Dead.”

“Nothing like having banners displaying your ignorance.”

“I know! Why don’t they drink some spiked punch and catch a ride on a comet? Oh, somebody already tried that? Dang it!”

“May 21 is important because the mortgage payment on the church is due May 25th so they need people to convert and donate ASAP so they don't default on the building.”

Say we believed that the world was going to end in May (or, if you’re a believer in Mayan prophecy, December 2012).  What could you do to prepare for it?  Make sure the house is clean?  No, no one will be there to see it.  Make sure your finances are in order?  No, no one will be there to claim it.  Make sure you behave yourself for the next five months (like that would help)?  Leave lots of food and water out for your pets?  No, God would not let animals suffer.  Make sure you are dressed up on May 21 so you look good when you get to the pearly gates?  Who says you’ll be going to the pearly gates?

Technically, didn’t the beginning of the end of the world start the day earth was formed?  Do we start dying the day we are born?  Whether or not the end of the world will begin in May, we should live each day to it’s fullest.  After all, no one knows how long they will live.  Your time could be up tomorrow, May 21, or sometime in 2050.  Enjoy every day!


  1. I'd make sure I had on clean underwear...that must be really important because my mom preached it the whole time I was growing up :-)

  2. Good one, Chief! My mom taught me the same thing. How could I forget about it?

  3. I wonder if there's a way to put this off 'til, say, June 1st. I'll be on vacation on 5/21 and it would be a bitch to die on vacation.

  4. I'd better hurry and do all those heathen things I was planning on doing or I'll miss my chance.

  5. Welcome, Mrs. Hyde and Mrs. Tuna! Before the world ends, I am hoping to go on vacation to do heathen things. Oh wait, I do heathen things when I'm not on vacation....

  6. I actually wrote a guest post about this on dribble...

    Nice blog post!

    Stop by and check out my blogs if you want

  7. I found it. Fuckin' good post, Bruce! Count me in. We should all get together for a virtual party that day.

  8. Absofuckinlutly! Virtual party may 21 2011....


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