Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Two More Dumbass Drivers

While I was out and about today, I realized I was remiss in not mentioning a couple of drivers in my previous post.  Without further ado, they are:

The Idle Idler
The Idle Idler is always in front of you at a stoplight.  When the light turns green, they are startled out of their reverie.  Then, they realize that they need to put in the clutch.  And then put the car in gear.  And then let off the brake.  And then give it some gas.  Why, oh why is the green light a surprise?  Did they think they would never have to put the car in gear ever again?  Why aren’t they prepared for the eventuality of the green light?

The Anxious Asshole
How I could have forgotten this driver, I will never know.  This is a type I see on a consistent basis.  You’ve seen them, too.  They are in a hurry!  They are important!  Their destination is more important than yours!  They will do just about anything to get there:  speeding, weaving in and out of traffic (sometimes two lanes at a time), cutting people off, etc.  In a way, they are entertaining to watch because they are so predictable.  Many other drivers can see the AA coming and toy with them.  This is fun to watch, because you can see the AA about ready to figuratively blow a gasket.  Most entertaining of all is when you get off the freeway and sit at the light on the exit ramp.  Who’s usually just one or two cars in front of you?  Yup, the AA.  All that fancy driving never seems to accomplish anything but feeding the AA’s ego and endangering other drivers.

So there you have it, my friends.  Keep your eye out for a future post about types of car owners.  Bet you can't wait. ;-)


  1. We get more of the AAs here.....drives everyone crazy!

  2. Nothing makes me more insane that bad drivers around me. Today I was stuck behind an asshole going 20mph on a 45mph road...I was so close to home and stuck behind this jackwagon. I was NOT happy.

  3. I love the AA's that gun it from one light to the next. And are forced to stop because it's red. Yeah, dude, you got far. Real far.

  4. I deny any and all association with the AA.

    And I would totally be the first one, too, if I wasn't such a p*ssy and could drive standard.

    Yet another life FAIL for me.


    Seriously?... Reeeally??... Seriously?


  5. :-) I whole heartedly agree about the Idle Idler. That's right up there with the McDonald's crew caught off-guard by the lunch rush.

    Since getting a job downtown (Minneapolis) eight years ago, the commute has become a distant, fuzzy memory. I now take the bus with dozens of people who sometimes wear pajama bottoms, lip synch with their iPods, or discuss the details of their sordid little sex lives over the phone. Frankly, I love it. :-) People are freaks! :-)


  6. pearl is right! people are freaks!

    can you imagine the f*keroo it will be when there are flying cars?

    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

  7. I also forgot the "Parking Lot Putz" and the "Stop Sign Swimmer". Pretty sad that we have all seen these lovely "drivers". It means that they are everywhere. Stay safe out there!

  8. I can't STAND those Idle drivers. If you are going to day dream should you really be behind the wheel of a car?


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